ordinarypoet.blogspot.com

When I headed to Oxford more than a week ago, I was hoping for a getaway of sorts; a brief escape from the routine and familiar, if you like, to where I could find some quiet and get some reading done. I certainly got that, and then some - thanks to my very gracious (and excessively stressed, I argue) host, Mr Ang Jian Wei!

I stayed in Oxford's Magdalen College for a week, where I bunked with Jian Wei in his ridiculously lush room (there was a piano in it, for goodness sake! And it was overlooking a deer park, wtf).

My first two days were spent exploring the more prominent places in Oxford with JW as my guide (if anybody needs a Malaysian tour guide, go find this guy while he's still there haha).

There is much history and tradition about Oxford, and with it, I'm sure, a great deal of pride for those who are studying or who have studied there. Until recently, I have never really gave much thought about why history and tradition matter. Other than its day-to-day educational process, I think these two elements play a big part in making Oxford what it is.

"Just remember who used to walk these streets," JW repeatedly said, echoing his professor's reminder. And it is a remarkably humbling feeling to keep in mind that you are in the same place that many other great leaders, academics and thinkers once were. And the fact that its colleges are very well-preserved adds to the atmosphere. All that tradition... a stark reminder of why you're there. I think if I were a student at Oxford, I'd even feel compelled to preserve (and hopefully, build upon) the rich heritage of the university.

These were not just passing thoughts, they struck a very personal chord with me. I think these things never came to mind during my first year because of how commercialized the LSE is. Anyone who's walked through Houghton Street on a weekday during an academic term will understand what I mean. Endless posters on internships, career oppportunities, and not to mention, the holy grail of investment banking. Was this what I came here for?

I guess the whole environment of the LSE had influenced my views on education in a very career-oriented, stereotypical fashion, and those who know me will understand that I am a person who finds stereotypes extremely gray, unattractive and demotivating, much like the London winter weather. But in Oxford, amidst its calm and all its history, I easily recalled the kind of ideals I used to have (and still have, albeit with slight differences) about education; it is one of passion, enquiry and the tireless pursuit of knowledge.

Within my first two days in Oxford, I realised that I had some serious soul-searching to do. There was a lot of thinking to be done on my part, about what I wanted out of my two remaining years. As far as I'm concerned, I haven't spent my first year very well and I intend to see my last two years off very, very differently, starting from now.

This is not to say that the LSE does not have the faculty or the facilities to for me to pursue my educational ideals. While Oxford is probably ahead of the LSE on that front, I think my first year, which I regard as pretty much a failure, was not so much a failure on the part of the institution but rather, due to my own lack of initiative and effort. Too long have I spent my days and weeks passing the time wastefully. Not even on hedonistic, pleasurable pursuits! I would perhaps have a case if I had been busy going after the latter! Haha.

Had I not gone on this unplanned trip last week, I don't think I would have had the peace of mind to just sit down and think thoroughly about this. This was another thing I learned - the value of solitude. Moving into my new place has had an incredibly positive effect on me. Just the notion of having a single room again, of being able to to just be alone - it has made me feel as though I have reclaimed a lost part of me. I know I sound melodramatic, but I'm sure those of you who really appreciate having your own space will empathise.

And of course, it was fun to catch up with an old friend! I often look back on the good times of preparing for WSDC. I think my life would have been truly different if I hadn't had that experience. Although I generally disagree with JW's irregular sleeping routine, I must say that sometimes, in lieu of a good night's sleep, a good night's conversation goes a much longer way.

I returned to London after the trip feeling quite refreshed and ready to start my second year anew. I've been quite fortunate to scrape a first-class for my first year (only a few percentage points above the threshold for a first-class grade), and I must not let that good fortune go to waste. Grades aside, there is much knowledge to be learned, and much experience to be had in my remaining two years.